12 FRIENDSHIP GREEN FLAGS TO CELEBRATE
Last year we ended off discussing 12 Red Flags in Friendships that we want to leave behind, but this year we are starting by celebrating the green flags we see in our friendships.
What are green flags?
These are the positive attributes and actions that can be found in your relationships with people–and for our purposes–your friends.
These are things like having friends who are trustworthy, caring, supportive, and so much more.
Not only do we want to celebrate these healthy characteristics, but we also want to use them as a guide to identify what to look for as we make new friends in the new year.
This blog post highlights 12 green flags that we all could use in our healthy and intentional friendships.
12 Friendship Green Flags You Should Celebrate
1| Friends who are considerate.
Having someone in your life who is considerate is so underrated, and oftentimes these friends are taken for granted.
Considerate friends do things like:
Check your level of comfort before doing something that could possibly offend you (like posting that one picture on social media).
Respect your time.
Ask you what you’d like to do for your next outing together instead of always doing what they want.
Give you a heads up about who will be in attendance at an event if they know someone will be there that you don’t necessarily like.
You can count on these friends because their consideration of your feelings and how something would affect you shows how much they care about your happiness.
Considerate friends are a gift in a world full of selfish people.
2| Friends who respect your boundaries.
These friends are also considerate, but it often takes the form of what they purposely won’t do to ensure that you feel safe.
Friends who respect your boundaries will avoid doing things like:
Manipulate or force you to do something you don’t want to do.
Probe you with questions about sensitive topics.
Guilt trip or shame you for the things you’re uncomfortable with.
Examples of friends who respect your boundaries look like this:
A friend who doesn’t offer you shots when they know you have stopped drinking hard liquor.
A friend who doesn’t bring up your ex-boyfriend as a topic of conversation because she knows how much that breakup hurt you.
A friend who doesn’t ask you to go on roller coasters because she knows you’re deathly afraid of them.
Whether it’s something big or small, it’s nice when you communicate a boundary to your friends and they don’t think they are above it, or try to peer pressure you into crossing the lines you created for your well-being.
3| Friends who hold you accountable, with love.
These are the friends who can tell you about yourself and call you out on your BS without intentionally offending you and doing so because they care about you.
Your accountability friends are careful with their words but will remind you of the person you’re trying to become, and the goals you’re working towards, or simply let you know when the actions you have taken are not okay.
These friends are going to do things like:
Remind you of your savings goal before you buy that purse.
Let you know that you were being rude to your partner and that you need to apologize.
Call you out for being shady when they know how bad you feel about gossiping.
They are going to let you know that your actions have consequences and that they don’t want to see you suffer for things you could have avoided.
4| Friends who are positive.
This is also an overlooked characteristic of a good friend because it’s often confused with friends who are nice, but there is a difference.
We love having nice friends, but friends who are positive bring a different value and energy into our lives.
Having friends who are the glass-half-full kind of people helps you keep an optimistic perspective by focusing on the good.
They help you remain hopeful no matter life’s circumstances and teach you to find joy in each day.
They also make efforts to stay away from the mess!
They aren’t interested in talking about other people negatively, and they treat everyone with respect. They are genuine in their pursuit of happiness.
5| Friends who reciprocate.
These are the friends who TRY.
Period.
**Drops Mic**
Just kidding, let’s continue! I just wanted to emphasize the importance of friends who at least try to show up in their friendships within the capacity that they can, in the current season of their life.
The ones who make an effort to show up for you because they equally value the friendship.
Reciprocity in friendships doesn’t mean “I did this for you, so now you have to do this exact thing for me,” that’s not the objective.
Nor is it tit for tat.
There may be seasons where you’re able to pour into them more than they can pour into you, and that’s perfectly fine! Because a friend who reciprocates will pour back when she has the capacity to do so.
6| Friends who believe in your character.
These are the friends who know your heart.
They know you’re not perfect, but they know your intentions and who you are at your core.
If you make a mistake or hurt their feelings, they don’t assume the worst of you. Nor are they jumping to conclusions.
They have grace for you.
If someone told these friends that you spoke negatively of them, they wouldn’t believe it to be true.
If you did something that hurt them, they will come to you and address it, instead of writing you off from preconceived assumptions.
If you did something that was unlike you, they can identify it and go deeper. They can see that something is wrong that caused you to be out of character, and then help to bring you back.
These friends are golden because they trust in the person God has called you to be.
7| Friends who pour into you.
These friends genuinely want the best for you, and because of that, they don’t mind showing up in whatever way they can to help you succeed.
If they have access to knowledge that could benefit you, they are sharing it.
If you’re venting about a problem, they’re imparting their wisdom unto you.
If you’re feeling down, they are sending you daily devotionals to encourage you and remind you of the strength of Christ that’s in you.
These friends want to be supportive, and they want to see you win. It makes them happy to see you win.
8| Friends who engage in healthy conflict resolution.
Conflict happens in friendships, but it doesn’t have to be detrimental to the relationship, and having friends who believe in healthy conflict resolution knows that.
These friends are good communicators and good listeners.
They aren’t interested in being passive-aggressive.
They don’t care about being “right.”
What’s important to them is that everyone’s feelings are validated, and where possible, resolution and compromise take place.
You can disagree with these friends without the anxiety or fear that it will be the end of the friendship because you know you all will be able to talk it out.
9| Friends who are open and honest.
Friends who can share their lives and be transparent with you allow for a deeper connection.
That doesn’t mean that they trauma dump on you or have to tell you every single detail of their lives.
Instead, they are open enough to allow you to learn more about them, the things that are important to them, and the things that make them who they are.
Friends who are open and honest create a space for you to learn how to support them and what they need, instead of you having to guess and make assumptions.
They aren’t putting on a façade and pretending to be someone that they are not, nor acting like everything is okay when it’s not.
Their willingness to be vulnerable is a direct reflection of the level of trust they have in you.
A friend who trusts you is a beautiful thing.
10| Friends who create a safe space for you.
When it’s your turn to be the friend who is open and honest, having a friend who creates a safe space for you is EVERYTHING!
When you share with these friends, you don’t feel judged.
They actively listen to you.
They give you their undivided attention.
They empathize with you.
They validate your feelings and respect your feelings even if they don’t agree.
They ask you if you want advice or if you just want to vent.
They are thoughtful with their words even if they have to hold you accountable (see green flag #3), but will do so lovingly to encourage you.
With these friends, you don’t have to worry about them disrespecting your privacy or making light of information that is deeply personal to you.
Your heart is protected with them, and that gives you the peace of mind that you need.
11| Friends who celebrate you.
These friends are genuinely happy about your accomplishments and the important milestones in your life.
When you succeed at something, they are enthusiastic (in their own way) about celebrating you.
Whether you finished a reading goal, got engaged, or bought a new home, they are happy to celebrate your achievement.
Because it’s important to you, it's important to them, and they act like it.
This can look like:
Your friend sending you a gift card to Barnes & Noble for accomplishing that reading goal.
Your friend offering to be a bridesmaid in your wedding and helping you with the planning.
Your friend writing you a heartfelt message about how proud they are of you for becoming a homeowner.
What they do doesn’t matter as much as the fact that they want to do it.
12| Friends who are fun!
These friends are all about quality time, and having a good time!
You need people like this in your life to bring the light and laughter.
Life as an adult can be a lot, so having friends who can get you to let your hair down, try new things, and just be silly helps us to create those unforgettable memories that make us smile.
It’s so easy to get fixated on a friend’s red flags because we tend to gravitate towards negativity, but let’s change that this year.
Let’s celebrate all the good our friends bring into our lives and have an attitude of gratitude all year long, appreciating our friend’s green flags and the friendship that you share together.
What are your friendship green flags? What are some green flags of your very best friends? Feel free to share in the comments!
