THE 5-PART FRIENDSHIP LOVE LETTER
Have you ever written a love letter to your friend?
I know it might sound silly because the assumption is that love letters are only for your significant other, but it’s called a love letter, not an in-love letter.
Seriously, have you ever taken a moment to give your friend her flowers? You know, telling her how great she is, why you value her, and that you appreciate the contributions she’s made to your life?
For some people, expressing their feelings can be difficult because they feel like they don’t know the right words to say or where to start.
Even with positive emotions, people are at a loss for words because they don’t use those muscles often.
What muscles are those you may ask?
I have affectionately coined them as the reflective muscle and the vulnerable muscle.
The Reflective Muscle is when you think back to the special moments you have shared in the past with your friend, the ways you have been there for one another, and all of the things that you specifically appreciate about their character.
The Vulnerable Muscle is acknowledging how those things you reflected on make you feel, and getting honest about the impact they’ve made on your life.
When you use the combination of reflection and vulnerability, you will find that the message you want to say to your friend will come to you with ease.
With a few fun features and your message in mind, this post will take you step-by-step to create that perfect love letter to your friend.
How to Write A Love Letter to Your Friend
PART I| INCLUDE SOMETHING THAT MAKES THEM LAUGH
This could be anything that makes you think of them or something that you know they would think is funny.
Examples:
Memes/Gifs
Inside jokes
Pictures
Video clips
Funny story
This part of the letter isn’t that deep, it’s actually the opposite. Simply include something lighthearted that will make your friend smile.
PART II| ADD A SPECIAL SONG OR SONG LYRIC
I love adding music in some capacity to a love letter because music naturally evokes feelings and emotions.
You might want to include a lyric that specifically speaks to your friend’s character, the friendship, or a song that takes you both back to a cherished time together.
Below are a few prompts to help you think of the perfect song:
What song or artist comes on that makes you immediately think of your friend?
Is she part of any musician’s hive or fan club?
What’s her favorite genre of music? R&B? Dancehall? EDM?
What song made her turn up in the club back in the day?
Is there a song that describes her personality?
What album does she have on repeat?
What song makes you think of your friendship?
PART III| SHARE YOUR FAVORITE PERSONALITY TRAIT ABOUT THEM
It’s simple, if you had to describe your friend in one word, what would it be?
If you admire your friend’s work ethic you might use words like…
Determined
Go-getter
Ambitious
Responsible
Decisive
If you appreciate your friend’s kind heart you might use words like…
Compassionate
Encouraging
Friendly
Empathetic
Considerate
If you love how much your friend has your back you might use words like…
Loyal
Solid
Reliable
Supportive
Trustworthy
There are tons of other characteristics like thoughtful, helpful, easy-going, creative, and so much more. You can use your Googles to find lists of personality traits anywhere.
What makes this a cool addition is that there is no fluff, it’s straight to the point and lets your friend know exactly what you believe about her.
PART IV| INCLUDE A SPECIAL MEMORY
“Remember when…”
You’ve probably had conversations before with your friends that started with those exact words. This part of the letter is an opportunity to share one of your favorite memories of them.
I’d recommend leaning toward the stories that make you both feel good.
However, maybe you have a memory that didn’t start the best but then ended up beautiful, then those would be okay too.
Here are a few prompts to help with those positive memories:
Think of a time when you had a lot of fun together
Think of a time when you got into fun mischief together
Think of a time when you tried something new/went on an adventure together
Think of a moment you shared that made you two lean on one another
Think of the moments that seemed “normal” or “routine” back then, that you cherish now
I know it can be hard to remember special moments when you have friendships of many years.
Don’t be afraid to pull out old notebooks, photos, social media pages (MySpace anyone?!), videos, or memorabilia to help you trigger those memories.
PART V| WRITE A HEARTFELT MESSAGE
Remember in the intro when we talked about flexing those reflective and vulnerable muscles? This is when it really gets put to good use.
In the blog post, Friendship Care Package, I mentioned the importance of being still.
To “sit in silence and reflect on the memories you share with this friend and the value they’ve added to your life, and then put it in words.”
Here are a few prompts to help you write a thoughtful message:
Remember those memories you just listed in Part IV? Use one and think about how it made you feel. What was special about it? What was special about your friend? What did it mean to you?
How have they added value to your life or impacted it positively?
Did they teach you anything that helped elevate your life?
Were they there for you at a time when you needed a friend?
What do you love about them as a person?
What have you seen them do for others that you loved?
How have you seen them show up for themselves that you admire?
How do they show up in the world in a way that you respect?
You don’t have to have a fancy vocabulary to express love and gratitude, you just have to be genuine.
Saying, “thanks for being there for me” is fine.
Saying, “thanks for being there for me when I was going through ______. Your support made me feel like I could overcome anything and I will never forget that,” gives a little more.
It shares a vulnerable truth that can deepen the connection.
LOVE LETTER FORMATS
There are quite a few ways you can format your love letter to make it unique and creative. Check out some options below.
Handwritten
This classic method may be favorable to those who have that beautiful script handwriting or just loves to put pen to paper.
Some people find this method more personal because their friend is taking the time to write it.
Digital
Of course in this digital world that we live in, technology can be a huge help in making your love letter super unique.
Using platforms like Canva can help you create beautiful designs, and provides aesthetic photos and gorgeous fonts that can take your letter to the next level.
Video
This method is for the ones who are not camera-shy! The ones who don’t mind setting up the camera and recording a special note to their besties.
You can still include all the elements of the love letter in your video in ways like, playing the special song in the background or editing the video to include a funny clip.
Voice Memo
If talking is your thing, you might find sending a voice memo easier to communicate your love letter.
You also get the opportunity to get creative with how you would incorporate something funny or a special song.
FRIENDSHIP LOVE LETTER EXAMPLE
The Scenario
Layla was taking a 3-part test to receive a certification and failed one of the parts 2 times. Layla was feeling defeated and wanted to give up. Her best friend Brooke offered to help her study in the library 3x a week until she retook the test. Layla passed the test and Brooke took her out to celebrate her accomplishment.
When Layla reflected on this moment, she thought about how supportive of a friend Brooke was by offering up so much of her time to help her achieve her goal. She also reflected on the encouragement Brooke gave her in being an accountability partner and committing to see her keep going. Then she thought about how generous Brooke had been to take her out to celebrate.
When Layla got real about how Brooke’s actions made her feel, she cried. At a time when she was ready to give up, she was encouraged, uplifted, and motivated. She felt like Brooke believed in her when she didn’t believe in herself, and that gave her confidence.
Layla created a digital love letter to her friend to express her gratitude, and give her friend her flowers while she could still smell them.
Have you ever created a love letter to your friend before? If so, what did you do to make it special? Feel free to share below!
