ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE
The month of November has always come with an overwhelming feeling of gratitude.
Over the years, we have re-purposed Thanksgiving to be about spending time with loved ones and sharing in our appreciation for one another, and I love that.
But when we take the time to give thanks, we are usually showing love to our families. While they are obviously important, it begs the question,
What about our friends? What about the friends who have become like family?
We should really take a moment and thank them for their generosity, reciprocation, authenticity, trustworthiness, elevating spirit, faithfulness, understanding, and all the laughter shared.
I know sometimes acronyms can be kind of cheesy, but let’s celebrate our friendships by discussing how G-R-A-T-E-F-U-L we are for them.
G| GENEROSITY
Do you have that friend who will lend their time and/or resources to you no matter what you need?
I mean the ones who don’t mind giving up something to help you out because they want to, not because they have to.
This looks like the friend who…
Pays for your dinner because you left your wallet.
Helps you bake 4 dozen cupcakes for a church bake sale.
Will sit on the phone with you for hours to be a sounding board, and helps you analyze and process your thoughts and emotions.
The relief and support they provide in their giving is a reminder that God did not create this world for us to go at it alone, and that we can lean on one another.
To the friends who offer help before we even have a chance to ask, you are appreciated.
R| RECIPROCATION
Have you ever been in a one-sided friendship? If you have, you know how hurtful and confusing it can be.
But when you have friends who reciprocate your energy, it shows that you value the friendship equally.
Reciprocation doesn’t mean that what you do for them, they will do the exact same thing for you. It’s not about doing the same actions, it’s about matching efforts.
It’s also not about reciprocating efforts at the exact same time. Sometimes you will pour more into your friends in one season, as they may for you in another.
It’s not tit-for-tat or an “I did this for you, so you need to do this for me.”
It’s a desire to show up because you want to, because you care about that friend, and because you have their back as they have had yours.
This looks like the friend who…
Reaches out to you just as much as you reach out to them.
Supports your dreams, just as you have supported theirs.
Randomly does something nice for you, as you have done for them before.
To the friends who genuinely match the effort, you are appreciated.
A| AUTHENTICITY
Have you ever had a friend who acts one way around some people and different around others?
I won’t say that they are “being fake,” but they are easily influenced by their surroundings in a way that does not identify with who you know them to be.
I’m aware that many of us are on individual journeys of self-discovery, so I’m not faulting anyone who is still finding their way.
However, there are core values that many of us have that cannot be shaken no matter who we are around, where we are, or the circumstances that we are in.
This looks like the friend who…
Values diversity, and respects all people, from all walks of life.
Values forgiveness and doesn’t pick and choose who deserves to be forgiven.
Values honesty and speaks the truth to you in love.
To the friends who are true to themselves, you are appreciated.
T| TRUSTWORTHINESS
When you have trust in a friend, you believe in their character, morals, integrity, and who they are at their core.
When you reflect on your friends whom you trust, you find comfort in knowing that you can be vulnerable and share your life with that person, without fear or worry.
I mean trust in a friend so deep that even if you two were to have a falling out, you have peace knowing that your secrets are safe.
This looks like the friend who…
Defends you in a room that you are not in.
Will not put you in an unsafe environment emotionally, or in any aspect.
Honors your privacy and respects your boundaries.
To the friends who are honest and honorable, you are appreciated.
E| ELEVATING SPIRIT
When I say elevating spirit here, I am referring to having a friend who is committed to becoming the best version of themselves, and wants the same for you.
They refuse to be stagnant so they are constantly learning and evolving, and encouraging you to do the same.
They hold you accountable to your goals and dreams, and support you as you navigate your way to achieve them.
They also refuse to let the friendship become complacent. They don’t adopt the attitude of “Well this is how it’s always been.”
If there are things that worked in one season of the friendship but no longer do, they look to find new ways to aid in the health of the friendship.
This looks like the friend who…
Hosts a virtual vision board party.
Brings new topics to the group chat that inspire thought-provoking conversations.
Helps you study for an upcoming exam.
To the friends who want more for us and want to see us win, you are appreciated.
F| FAITHFULNESS
The word faithful is often associated with partner relationships, but it’s just as relevant with friendships.
To be faithful is simply to be loyal; not just in words, but in actions as well.
I’m not talking about blind faithfulness to a friend where you are agreeing with things that are harmful to themselves or others.
I mean the type of faithfulness that is dedicated to helping you become the person that God has called you to be.
They truly care about wanting the best for you, and they are intentional in their actions not to hurt you.
This looks like the friend who…
Is committed to your well-being.
Doesn’t disrespect you behind your back.
Honors their word to you and that you can count on.
To the friends that are reliable and loyal, you are appreciated.
U| UNDERSTANDING
There are people in this world who struggle to be understanding because they have not had the same experiences as another. Then there are those who seek to understand.
Having a friend who seeks to understand you, your thought processes, what you’re going through, and how you’re feeling is a special kind of intentionality.
They are not listening to judge you or fix you, they care about what you mean and what they are trying to convey.
There is a level of empathy that is required to be understanding in your friendships.
Acknowledging your friend's feelings, putting yourself in their shoes, and being sensitive to their experiences is a level of consideration that is so valued in friendships.
This looks like the friend who…
Doesn’t cut you off while you’re talking.
Asks follow-up questions to learn more about what you’re saying.
Makes the effort to see things from your perspective.
To the friends who are considerate and thoughtful, you are appreciated.
L| LAUGHTER
Think about the last time you laughed until your stomach hurt with your friends. Do you remember the joy you felt?
Having fun with your friends has always been an amazing way to relieve stress and make us feel good.
Those friends who are all about finding ways to bring the fun and good energy into the friend group are so incredibly needed.
This world is already a scary place, we need all the moments we can get where we can enjoy one another’s company and just laugh.
This looks like the friend who…
Sends funny memes.
Tells a good (or maybe even bad) joke.
Plans fun activities to do together.
To the friends who really make us smile, you are appreciated.
This holiday season, when we go around the table and say what we are grateful for, let’s not forget our friends!
What are some things you are grateful for in your friendships? Share in the comments below.
