NEW YEAR, NEW FRIENDS
Back in 2013, beloved rapper Drake had women all over the world in clubs singing “No New Friends” with their besties.
While the sentiment of staying down with your “Day 1s” is not necessarily a bad thing, it assumes that making new friends is.
Many people have closed off their hearts to making new friends for reasons such as: betrayal in previous friendships or not being able to give the proper energy into making new friends.
In those cases, you might not be in a season to make new friends as you’re healing, or you simply do not have the capacity to make a new connection.
However, if you’re not open to new friendships out of fear of putting yourself out there, not knowing where to start, or feeling like you have everyone you need, then you’re truly doing yourself a disservice.
To be clear, when I say to make new friends, I don’t mean befriending someone just because they liked your picture on Instagram.
I mean finding people you can see yourself cultivating healthy, meaningful relationships with. That means you likely won’t start as friends right away, but as associates and build from there.
New people can bring more fun into your life by having similar interests and hobbies, they can motivate you by having similar aspirations, or become a great support system because they can relate to you and your lifestyle.
Let’s talk about a few new friendships you can make that will add value to your life and not to mention, the value you add to theirs!
Friends with Similar Interests
Starting with your interests and hobbies can be one of the easier ways to meet new people because you already have something in common.
Below is a list of popular hobbies that easily connect people:
Reading
Crafting (Crocheting/knitting/sewing, cutting designs with Cricut machines, painting, etc.)
Exercising
Bowling/Skating
Upcycling/DIY Projects
Volunteering
Dancing
Playing an instrument
Traveling
Gaming
You might be wondering, “well how do I find friends with similar interests?”
You can find people who share these interests by joining Facebook groups, local teams, classes, and organizations.
Today, there are even websites and apps to make friends. It’s not weird or uncommon to meet people online first, and then connect in person to form a friendship.
Meeting people with similar interests breaks that initial awkwardness of not knowing what to talk about, and with time, can bloom into so much more.
Friends with Similar Career Aspirations
You probably have friends that have a similar vision for their life as you do, like the big house with the white picket fence, but how you make the money to make that happen may look different from one another, and that’s perfectly fine!
But sometimes it’s nice to have someone to talk to and spend time with who wants to achieve those goals with similar career aspirations as you.
So what does that look like?
1| Making friends with people in the same profession as you
Emphasis here on the word profession, that does not mean the same workplace, aka coworkers.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t make friends with coworkers, but the focus here is on meeting people in the same industry as you.
The benefit here is having a friend who understands the acronyms you use, someone who shares your same concerns or excitement with industry changes, or simply having someone to be a sounding board where you can bounce ideas off of one another.
How do you meet these professional friends?
You can use a lot of the same methods as you would for meeting people with similar interests.
In addition to that, below are a few other options to meet people in the same profession as you:
You’re pursuing a degree in the same field of study and have classes together
You volunteer at work events or special outings
You join an industry-specific association and attend local chapter meetings
You participate in the same training sessions for continuing professional education requirements
You attend conventions related to your career field
If you intend to be in your profession for a while, then it’s a good idea to meet new people who are on the same career track as you.
2| Making friends with entrepreneurship dreams like you
If you have already begun your entrepreneurship journey, then you already know how crucial it is to have support in the form of a friend.
Stepping out on your own to create your dream job requires you to wear many hats, and that’s a great way to connect with people who serve a different community than you or have a different niche.
You could be writing a book, hire a freelance editor, and connect over the challenges to get reviews for your products and services.
You could be a natural hair content creator on social media and connect with a food blogger sharing tips on how to earn money with affiliate links.
Or you could be a cake designer and connect with a real estate agent over designing an aesthetic and fully functioning website.
Sharing information, resources, and tips, while encouraging one another in a way that only another entrepreneur would understand is the benefit of this type of friend.
While some of these relationships could simply end up being networking connections, there could also be one that could turn into a life-long friendship.
Friends with Similar Lifestyles
If you live long enough, you will find yourself transitioning into different types of lifestyles that your old friends may or may not be connected to, and that can be hurtful.
You want your friends to share your experiences and relate to all parts of your life, but that’s just not realistic.
Eventually…
Someone is going to get married first.
Someone is going to have babies first.
Someone is going to move away.
Someone is going to make a major lifestyle change.
As you adapt to these very normal phases and transitions, it’s nice to have a friend or two who can totally relate to where you are in life.
Let’s discuss a few types of friendships that share similar lifestyles.
1| Military Spouse Friendships
This jumps out to me immediately because I am a military spouse, and I have gone through the process of having to make new friends due to my husband’s career.
One thing about the military is that it will likely move you away from your friends, put you in the middle of nowhere, and in a completely new environment.
That new environment changes the game of how you end up meeting new people. It forces you to get outside your comfort zone and be vulnerable about your desire to make new friends.
Here are a few common ways to meet other military spouses:
Facebook groups in the local area
Military-specific volunteering organizations
Military spouse support groups
Your spouse’s friend’s girlfriends/wives
Your spouse’s work events
It’s important not to get caught up in the clicky nature that can sometimes develop in military spouse environments.
Instead, connect with women who will support you when your spouse is deployed or working a crazy schedule, and vice versa.
2| Same Faith Friendships
This also resonates with me because I am a Christian, with many Christian friends, not all, but the majority. And I love all my friends equally.
However, having friends of the same faith as you is amazing, because no matter where either of you are in your faith walk, you know the direction they are trying to go, as they know yours.
There is an understanding of the life you are attempting to build for yourself, and how you’re trying to live it.
There are shared values and customs that make it easy to form these new relationships.
There is the opportunity to comfort and support one another in a manner the other person would welcome. For example, if I were going through a tough time, I’d genuinely appreciate a friend taking my hand and praying for me when I can’t find the words to pray for myself.
Here are a few common ways to meet other people of the same faith:
Attending your place of worship
Serving in ministry
Joining small groups in person or online (like bible study)
Attending faith-specific conferences/events
Finding local faith-specific meetups
Your faith plays a large part in your everyday life, and making new friends who share your beliefs can truly bless you.
3| Same Relationship Status Friendships
I am a married woman with single friends, and I’ve been a single woman with married friends, and in either circumstance, I’ve had (and have) strong, healthy friendships.
But when I was single, I couldn’t relate to my friend's in-law’s problems, and now that I’m married, I can’t relate to the current dating scene challenges.
Neither are causes to end old friendships, but they do create a desire to have a friend who can identify with your relationship status.
Singlehood and partner relationships impact our day-to-day living, and when you have a friend who has the same status as you, you can lean on one another in different ways.
For example, how a single person may spend a Friday vs a married person may differ sometimes.
A single person might be interested in going to the club with another single friend to meet someone. While the married person might be interested in doing a double date night with another married couple.
When it comes to how to meet friends who are single or married, you can use a lot of the other strategies previously mentioned in other sections. One of the key differences is expressing if their relationship status is something that helped you gravitate toward that person.
There’s nothing wrong with stating that you need a friend to go out with to mix and mingle, or that you’d like a friend to vent to about the struggles of sharing a bathroom with your spouse!
4| Mom Friendships
I’m not going to go into too much detail here because I don’t have kids.
But I have learned from my friends who do have kiddos, that there is a deep appreciation for having a friend who understands what each other goes through daily.
A few perks of mom friendships can be:
Enjoying playdates together
Sharing advice, tips, and resources
Having a trusted babysitter
Encouraging each other during the different stages of their children’s lives
Attending school functions/kid events together
I have friends with kids who have other mom friends, and they often vacation together with their whole families. The beauty in that is that the kids become friends and have unique experiences together.
Where can you meet mom friends?
Pretty much anywhere your kids have to be like a school function, sports event, birthday party, or even sitting in the pediatrist office.
And of course, moms and non-moms can have perfectly fine and healthy friendships!
But it’s still nice to have a friend who can relate to planning in advance to secure a babysitter for a date night, or only getting 3 hours of sleep due to a long night with a sick baby.
There is a shared empathy, patience, and respect for one another.
Making new friends can be challenging, I get it. The friends we already have probably came from being in the same class together, or working the same part-time job in college, so it was easy.
But a lot of those friendships were formed out of proximity, and you have the opportunity to create new friendships with intentionality.
As you step into the new year with your new goals, I want to encourage you to put yourself out there and try to make a new friend; it might be one of the best decisions you ever make 😉
How have you made new friends in the past? Share your tips below!