People say that being in a relationship is expensive, but nobody ever talks about how having friends can be expensive too!

In today’s economy, hanging out with friends can be costly, especially if you’re living in a metropolitan area.

For example, last month my friends and I went to brunch in Washington, D.C. and my meal was only $17, but with two drinks, an appetizer, city tax, a restaurant fee, and gratuity, I spent $85!

Some people might consider that to be a good deal, and maybe it was, but it’s still a lot of money; and had I not prepared for it I would have been up-set!

Now don’t get me wrong I love quality time with my friends, but the accountant in me will not allow myself to go into debt to spend time with them, and my girls wouldn’t want me to.

Thankfully, my circle of friends learned how to spend time together without breaking the bank, all while supporting each other’s financial goals and boundaries, and this blog post is here to help you and your friends do the same!

How To Navigate Friendships On A Budget

1| Create A Budget (and stick to it)

First and foremost, make a budget. I know this blog is about friendship, but I wouldn’t be a good friend to you if I didn’t share my knowledge on a few budgeting fundamentals.

FWI Disclaimer: I am not a financial advisor nor your personal accountant, so please use this advice cautiously and conduct your own research for your best interest. ☺️

To create a basic budget, check out the following steps:

List all of your income:

Employment income (i.e. your job)
Side hustle income (i.e. freelance work)
Passive income (i.e. investment income, rental income, royalties)

List your fixed monthly expenses:

**Please note that these expenses typically remain consistent each month, but they can vary slightly due to required/desired adjustments.

Rent/Mortgage
Renters Insurance/Homeowners Insurance
Healthcare Expenses
Tithes
Car Note/Transportation Expenses
Car Insurance
Cell Phone
TV/Internet
Subscriptions (i.e. streaming platforms, phone storage, apps)

List your variable monthly expenses:

**Please note that these expenses are subject to monthly changes due to their inherent nature.

Groceries/Household Items
Vehicle Fuel
Electricity/Gas
Water/Sewage
Personal Care Items
Child Expenses (i.e. clothes, school items, childcare)
Pet Expenses (i.e. food, pet sitter, vaccines)

List your debt responsibilities:

Personal Loans Payments
Student Loan Payments
Credit Card Expenses

List your savings goals:

Emergency Fund
Short-Term Goals
Long-Term Goals

Budget Your Way

There are numerous budgeting methods, with some of the popular styles being:

Zero-Based Budgeting
The (Digital) Envelope System
The Half-Payment Method
The 50/30/20 Method
Priority-Based Budgeting

Your budgeting approach will dictate whether you allocate funds weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly. Do your research and make sure you tailor your budget to best serve your needs and financial goals.

CREATE A FUN FUND

Once you ensure your financial responsibilities are taken care of, THEN you create your “FUN Fund.” This is where you will put money aside for leisure activities with friends.

You can put aside a fixed amount every payday or opt for variable amounts based on upcoming plans and needs.

Consider obtaining a bank card specifically for your FUN fund account to prevent you from pulling money from other accounts that you shouldn’t be using; this will help you keep proper accounting and stick within your budget.

CREATE A GIFT FUND

This is money put aside for special occasions such as holidays, birthdays, and celebratory events.

As we get older, there are always occasions to celebrate with friends. If you enjoy giving gifts (like I do), having funds set aside adds to the excitement of celebrating their special moments.

Including a “GIFT Fund” into your regular budgeting is a lifesaver when those back-to-back or surprise events pop up (i.e. promotions, engagements, and baby showers).

What does my budget have to do with my friendships?

It helps you to intentionally put money aside for outings with friends
It helps you thoughtfully plan for gift-giving
It helps you learn your spending patterns as they relate to your friends, and identify excessive habits, prompting adjustments to align with your personal goals

2| Before Declining An Outing, Consider Alternative Options

We love and applaud fiscal responsibility, but there is a way to do it without going MIA on your friends.

You don’t have to be so quick to say no to every event when there could be another way that you could participate.

For example, if your friends are planning to attend a concert, you might not be able to afford VIP tickets, but you could consider asking if they're open to general seating admission instead.

Or maybe you and your friends love to try new restaurants once a month, but you typically end up going somewhere expensive. Instead, you could research new and affordable restaurants to try.

Don’t assume your friends wouldn’t be flexible or that you’re ruining their plans; you’d be surprised how much they may like your idea instead.

3| Plan Friend Dates In Advance

A lot of people loathe the idea of planning, but they also don’t like to waste time or money, and planning helps avoid both of those situations.

Planning Examples:

Asking your friends about their birthday plans a couple of months in advance
Booking activities several weeks out to allow time to save for it
Putting money aside as early as possible to save for your annual girls trip

(Shameless Plug: my book “How to Plan a Girls Trip” provides guidance on how to budget for your group trip and how to have important money conversations with your friends.)

Obviously, you can’t plan for everything, but preparing for the things you know for certain takes a lot of financial pressure off of your shoulders.

4| Find Free or Low-Cost Activities

Spending quality time with your friends does not have to be expensive.

There are so many ways to hang out with your friends with the use of a little technology, creativity, and intentionality.

Summer Fun Examples:

DIY relay race for adults
Hiking in a scenic area while playing 21 questions
DIY Paint & Picnic
Do fun (and safe) TikTok/YouTube challenges together
Swim at a local pool or beach
Visit free museums
Go thrift shopping
Volunteer together
Make homemade popsicles/ice cream/sherbert
Do a photo scavenger hunt around town
Host a potluck BBQ and try these fun activities while eating
Host a “Bring Your Own” Craft party (i.e. crocheting supplies, coloring books, jewelry-making kit)
Check out local festivals and events (Use websites like Eventbrite or your local Facebook groups to see what’s going on in your area)

5| Try Virtual Hangouts & Cell Phone Games

These days, almost everyone has some kind of device – phone, computer, tablet – which means hanging out with friends is easy, even if finances are limited.

This could be playing games, doing puzzles, or binge-watching a show together.

Explore more ideas in-depth with the blog post: 9 UNIQUE WAYS TO HANG OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS VIRTUALLY.

6| Make DIY Gifts For Your Friends

We discussed having a gift fund in Tip #1, but who says the gift has to be store-bought?

DIY gifts are often a more affordable option and one that your friends will love because they are more personalized.

DIY and Homemade Gift Ideas:

Create unique “Open When” letters for your friends
Write your besties a heartfelt love letter that will give them all the feels
Curate a thoughtful care package filled with inexpensive trinkets and meaningful mementos
Make friendship coupons
Decorate or paint a picture frame and include a favorite picture
Put together a jar of inspirational quotes, affirmations, and scriptures
Make them a bookmark with Inspo from their favorite books
Put together a (real or fake) flower arrangement

Make them a personalized sugar scrub
Create a seasoning blend they’d love
Treat them to baked goods
Make hot chocolate mason jars

DIY gifts are appreciated for their personal touch and the thoughtfulness that goes into creating them.

7| Be Strategic About Your Spending

AKA think before you spend.

Don’t let yourself fall victim to impulsive or convenience spending. If you think ahead you can limit unnecessary expenditures.

Spending Strategy Examples:

Eat before you go out with friends (or look at the menu in advance to estimate how much your meal will cost)
Ask precise and detailed questions about the plans for your outing with friends
Prepare snacks for activities that could work up an appetite
Take out cash before going out with friends and leave your bank cards at home so you won’t be tempted to use them
Look up discounts for events/activities
Use coupons (and don’t be embarrassed to do so!)
Avoid upgrades and add-ons

8| Don’t Compare Yourself to Your Friends

We all know the quote “Comparison is the thief of joy” and it’s true for many reasons: comparing your life to your friends will make you foolishly ashamed of your circumstances, insecure, and God-forbid, even a little envious.

Comparing your financial situation to that of your friends prevents you from taking pride in your unique journey, and keeps you from being genuinely happy for their successes.

Your friend’s path is not your path, and what’s for you will not miss you.

Celebrate your friend’s wins and honor where you are on your road to financial freedom.

9| Don’t Try to Keep Up with The Joneses

Please do not live outside of your means to keep up with societal pressures or an inflated ego!

Your friends love you for who you are, not for what you have or what you can do. (And if that’s not the case, then you need to go back and check out my blog post on friendship foundations, because you may need to reevaluate that friendship.)

Social media has played a role in making people believe they should be living a certain life that they may not be able to afford.

But let me tell you something…

It’s okay to go to a beach in Florida instead of an island out of the country for your vacation.

It’s okay to have a backyard BBQ instead of going to a Michelin-star restaurant for your birthday.

It’s okay to be excited about your 2-bedroom apartment that doesn’t have panoramic city views.

Don’t let your peers, the internet, or some unrealistic internal measurements of success have you in crippling debt that you will regret!

10| Discuss Your Financial Goals with Your Friends

I know talking about money with other people can be difficult, but this can be done in whatever manner makes you feel the most comfortable.

You might feel okay telling your friends you plan to save $1,000 by the end of the year for a down payment on a car. You may even invite them to help keep you accountable.

Alternatively, you might prefer to be less specific, simply mentioning that you're watching your spending this year because you're planning a major purchase.

There is no wrong approach to discussing your financial goals with your friends, but doing so is a great way for them to understand your choices and support you.

Bonus Tip| Enjoy Your Life

As noted above, fiscal responsibility is important but so is enjoying your life.

There are going to be some once-in-a-lifetime opportunities that you shouldn’t miss if you can afford to.

I’m not saying skip out on paying your bills to do these things, but if there is a way to rearrange your finances to make it happen, don’t feel guilty about it.

After all, life is for LIVING!

Personal Example:

As a military spouse, I had the privilege of living in Europe.

As our last year approached my husband and I realized there were a few countries we wanted to visit before moving back to the States, however, we did not budget for those travel expenses.

Together, we decided to put them on a travel credit card and agreed to a plan to responsibly pay them back.

One of the last trips we took was a group trip with friends to Ireland, and I have zero regrets as we faithfully paid it off!

Don’t let your financial circumstances and/or goals make you feel like you’re unable to have successful friendships.

You can still be an amazing intentional friend and be fiscally responsible.

How do you like to spend time with your friends while you’re on a budget? Share in the comments below!

10 WAYS TO THRIVE IN YOUR FRIENDSHIPS WHILE ON A BUDGET