GIRL TALK: 40 CONVERSATION STARTERS FOR FRIENDS
Have you ever gotten together with your friends and after the initial greetings there’s this awkward silence?
You know, the kind of empty space that causes everyone to gravitate toward their phone and hide behind it until someone finds something on social media to talk about?
While there is nothing wrong with talking about the most recent celebrity news or the award show that came on the previous night, it’s nice to switch it up and be more intentional about our conversations.
For the friend listening, there is an opportunity to learn about what’s going on, gather important information, and be supportive of the friend who’s talking.
For the friend talking, there is an opportunity to release and be vulnerable, receive help if desired, and feel heard in a safe space.
The benefits of a good conversation are endless, and this blog post provides you with great conversation starters that will help you open up to one another with ease!
4 Types of Conversation Topics for Friends
Catch-Up Conversations
Oftentimes when you get together with friends in person or on the phone, the start of a conversation is playing catch-up with one another.
With these kinds of questions, you should feel up-to-date on what’s currently going on in your friend’s life by the end of the conversation.
Check out these examples of Catch-Up questions:
How is work/school going?
How is the entrepreneur life treating you?
Have you started any new side hustles?
How is your significant other doing?
How are you and your partner doing?
How is the dating life?
Do you have any new passion projects/hobbies?
How are your parents/kids/pets?
How have you been feeling as you balance/manage day-to-day life?
Ask about any significant life changes (like moving, health improvements/concerns, getting a new pet, having a baby, losing a loved one, etc.)
“What Are You Into Now?” Conversations
As humans, we are constantly changing, and that means what we are interested in is changing as well.
The things you knew your friend liked 6 months ago may be completely different now, and that’s where these questions to learn their interests comes in handy.
Check out these examples of “What Are You Into Now?” questions:
What artists/albums are you currently listening to?
What shows are you watching/bingeing?
Do you have any new favorite recipes or go-to snacks?
Are there any social media influencers that you really like following?
What are you currently reading?
What podcast are you listening to these days?
Are you learning anything new? (self-taught learning too!)
What is your favorite thing to do for fun when you're not working?
Is there a new fashion trend or style that you’re loving right now?
What do you love to do for self-care?
Dreams/Future Conversations
We all have dreams, things we’d like to accomplish, and places we’d like to go.
As adults, we’ve gotten scared to talk about our dreams out of fear that they won’t happen and someone else will know/think we have failed.
But with a good friend, you should know that they aren’t looking to put you down, but instead, lift you up.
Check out these examples of Dreams/Future questions:
Do you have any upcoming travel plans or places you’d really like to visit?
Are there any new goals you’ve been planning or already started? (Like going back to school, learning a new language, working out, etc.)
Are there any cool events you’re interested in attending? Or are you going to ____ (insert event name, like a conference, a big show, a dream concert, etc.)?
Have you had any thoughts about family planning?
(Knowing your friend’s comfort level with this question is important. You may be able to ask if your friend has thought about expanding her family, or you know if you shouldn’t touch this question at all).
Have you thought about buying a home recently?
What is your ideal job?
Is there anything on your bucket list that you’ve been able to check off lately or are about to check off?
What does the perfect work/life balance look like to you?
What are some non-negotiables for your dream/forever home?
Where would you like to live and settle down?
Reflective Conversations
Who we are as people is a collection of our beliefs, our values, and our experiences.
Reflective questions allow you to learn more about what those are for your friend as you go deeper into a conversation.
Check out these examples of Reflective questions:
Was there a time or moment in your life that you thought was horrible, but ended up being for your good? (Romans 8:28)
What’s a lesson you learn this year/last year?
Is there a characteristic about yourself that you’d like to improve upon?
What’s an accomplishment you’re most proud of?
What are you doubting yourself about?
What’s a hard truth you had to come to terms with?
What is something that you do that makes you feel fulfilled?
Has anyone ever said something about you (good or bad) that really impacted you?
Is there anything you regret not trying?
Who inspires you and why?
8 Tips for Successful Conversations with Friends
1| Check Your Energy
Before starting a conversation, ask yourself if you even have the mental capacity to engage.
It’s unfair to your friend to start a conversation, and then decide afterward that you’re not really in the mood to talk.
Your energy affects how you show up in a conversation, so be mindful of that.
2| Be Present
If you’ve been following this blog, you know this tip will always be on the list, and that’s to be present!
Remove other distractions, and truly listen when your friend is talking.
3| Listen to Understand
That means don’t just listen to respond, talk about yourself, or cut people off.
Practice active listening, watch your body language, ask follow-up questions to keep the conversation going, and truly pay attention to what your friend is saying.
4| Take Mental Notes
Sometimes in conversations, your friend might say something worth remembering, take a mental note (or write it down).
It could be something as small as telling you their new favorite lunch spot (that could be worth remembering if you ever needed a gift idea).
Or it could be something important like them telling you the day they have an interview (then you could send them a good luck text message that morning).
5| Don’t be Judgmental
Be a safe space for your friend.
You don’t have to agree with what they are saying or doing, but you also don’t need to condemn them for it.
6| Respect Each Other’s Perspectives
Everyone has an opinion and a different way of thinking.
Your friend might really think that they are right about something, and you might really think that you are right about that same thing.
Agree to disagree without being disrespectful.
7| Evaluate the Time and Place
There is a time and place for everything, and that’s because some conversations are simply not appropriate for certain settings.
It might not be the right time to ask about one friend’s relationship in front of another friend who just went through a breakup.
Or maybe asking deep/reflective questions at a party will come off as a total buzz kill.
Read the room before deciding to start a conversation.
8| Let it Flow/Be Natural
Conversations shouldn’t feel like interviews.
While you may want a few questions prepared ahead of time, that doesn’t mean you have to go down this entire list one by one.
Usually, one or two questions will take on a life of their own, and when it does, just let it flow.
Conversations are an awesome way to connect and pour into our intentional friendships.
It’s a natural bonding experience that allows us to get to know the friends that we love in new ways, learn from one another, and grow together by simply using our words.
What conversation topics do you and your friends love to discuss? Feel free to share below!
